Halloween

None of us have caught the flu. We were downing those fizzy vitamin c drinks and stinking up the house with our Garlic breaths.

Big girl is up and about. She is ready to go and trick or treat. We got the big bag of candy. She has a lot of energy, no fever since day two and she is eating everything. I want her to take it easy. It is a warmish night. I say OK you can trick or treat only on our block. I didn't want her walking around too much. We fashion some homemade costumes.
The three year is old is tired of it all quickly and not only refuses to go out to check out the trick or treaters, she yells at the ones who come to our door for candy.

H1NWHAT!

Day ?

She’s eating! She started this morning complaining about her belly. She was nauseous and sick. She smelled sick and her cough was croupy and seemed to hurt.

I was ready for her to be better. I already went to the health food store and got some elderberry, her favorite drinks, little clemitine oranges, staples for soups for when she was feeling better.

First she asked for some crackers and then soup, tea, some fruit. She wanted toast! Yes! She is on her way to healing. I am so relieved!

Swine Flu Diary

No fever! She’s sleeping a lot. When she wakes up she is not hungry. She doesn’t want to come downstairs and be with us she just wants to rest. When she finally wakes up she has to be coaxed to drink. She moans that her stomach hurts. Her head hurts.

She wakes up at 9:00 PM and is up. She has no appetite. D and I are working in the living room and dining room while she is laying on the couch. We give her a vitamin c lollypop which perks her up a tiny bit. I sit with her. I try to breathe. I try to take care of myself, so that I can take better care of her.
I regret watching the special on the swine flu! Kids in hospital, on oxygen.
My kid moaning.
I feel like something is trying to get me. My throat has that weird scratch before you get a cold. Fuck you flu! I felt run down but had to maintain. I have a scratchy throat. I think I’m dizzy.
Turns out I was just tired. I woke up fine the next day.

H1NWhat!!

She woke up complaining about her stomach and chest. She had slept in one of her little sister’s dress(don't know why) and thought the pressure was coming from having worn something too tight and it was compressing her chest.
I was about to leave for work and I went in her room to talk to her and see what was happening. She looked terrible. I touched her skin and immediately knew had a fever, she had pains, she was crying. Her head was hurting, her eyes, her whole body. Took her temp. 104 fever!
Offered her something to drink and she asked for ice water.

I immediately called the doctor. The docs office phone was busy, busy and finally I was put on hold and then a nurse picked up. She said all the symptoms sound about right, it’s the flu. She won’t say the word! She said a lot of folks coming in with those same symptoms. "DON'T come in!" Give motrin and tyn. repeatedly. Only c0me in if she has breathing issues.
"Breathing issues?"
"Yes, she is struggling for breath or turning blue!"
Only then should we go in.

That was it? Where was the test?
"The doctor could call you if you have more concerns."
"Yes, please."

She ate when the motrn kicked in. She had four hours of feeling good and as that motrn effect wore off she was back to feeling awful.
Doctor called 7 hours later. She casually said my daughter had H1N1. Doc said go ahead and give her another dose of pain reliever. We gave it to her and she was up and talking. I'm not big with meds. The kids respond to a good diet and thoughtful assessment of what is missing or should added. Like vits or cod liver oil. Always with the garlic in the food.

We gave her garlic and ginger to chew. But it was amazing difference when she had relief from the fever and body aches. She was eating And drinking, watching television. Even playing with her sister. She rested.

Toddler turns three

She has been singing things and saying things to the beat of "Hey Jude" by the Beatles.

Zazu asked me what does "post haste" mean? She asked me what cumbersome was.

I asked where she learned that word and she didn't want to tell me.

She's got questions about everything. I have to stay on my toes because I am constantly being asked what the meaning of words are.

She's eating carrots and fruit now. She is still sort of picky but will eat a lot more natural stuff now then when she was a baby.

She has been saying sentences to the beat of Hey Jude by the beatles.

Zazu asked me what does "post haste" mean?

I asked where she learned that word and she didn't want to tell me.

She's got questions about everything. I have to stay on my toes because I am constantly being asked what the meaning of words are.

She's eating carrots and fruit now. She is still sort of picky but will eat a lot more natural stuff now then when she was a baby.

Now to get her stop peeing on herself and hitting her sister.

A President who can read!!



Looking cool as can be.

Water Play

Z at the sink having a grand time!


My daughter spent almost an hour standing on a chair at the kitchen sink, "washing dishes" She was so happy just pouring the water out from different cups. I threw in a water bottle and a sieve. I put in clean plastic bowls. She was happy, singing and content for a long time. While she did that I stayed close and cooked. I cleaned up too. She had a large bowl and pitcher that held the water. The chair is great but you do need to supervise them carefully. A step stool works good too. But the chair allowed her access to the faucet. I let her turn on the faucet and watch the water pour into the bowls. I spoke to her about saving water and not letting it just run. After telling her about conservation she followed me around the next few days telling me, "don't let the water run!" whenever I was doing dishes or brushing my teeth.

I saw a friend of mine do this when my daughter went to her house. She put some rags or towels on the floor. She had some large bowls and cups with water. My daughter poured the water from cups into the bowl. She sat down and had a great time. Again, she had to be monitored as to avoid a flood but otherwise she was great.

I think preparing the area with adequate rags and towels is most important and a large enough bowl. She had cups, small floating toys, spoons to mix.
A good tip: save old yogurt containers, spice containers with the the big and little holes. These are great water play accessories too.

Bath Time is great. Most kids like to be in the tub splashing and pretending swim. Once in a while let the kid play in the tub even if it's three in the afternoon. In the tub cups and bottles are great tub accessories. My daughter and I pretend that we are whales swimming in the ocean!



Outside Water play



Of course a little kids inflated pool is nice. Adults can sit in one of these too and cool down from the summer heat.

Those spinning sprayers are great. Games can be made about jumping over or going under the spray.

Letting them spray the hose and water the yard is so much fun. My daughter likes to fill a little watering can and go about the yard watering the different plants.

Go to a real pool. There are pools at gyms, at the Y, at some parks. Try to get to a pool this summer, the kids will love you for it.

Water parks are great. I'm not a big fan of amusement parks and long lines but there was a point in my life where I was and I loved it. That long slide straight into a cold pool has to be the best. I have lots of family and friends who have gone to water theme parks and they had complete blasts.

The Beach!

A small pond or stream. Contemplate a puddle. Kids LOVE puddles. Maybe it is the feeling of another world. Or it's a nice pool of water to splash in.

Go out in the rain. Bring umbrellas and take a walk! You are not made out of sugar though you are so sweet. You will not melt in the rain. I've seen a blind woman get on the bus with her toddler and seeing eye dog. A little rain can't keep you down or keep you stuck inside.



Water! Bountiful. We are made mostly of water.
All humans lived as merbabies growing within their moms before breathing air we breathed fluid.

Finished Novel

This is the shelf where my books will be!
I finished a kids chapter book!

I've had this idea for three years now. My daughter and I had been talking about this story and acting out the story!

I've been querying like a mad woman....oh the world of publishing...so interesting and not at all intimate and cozy. more cold and despondent. anywhoo. so this agent said YES we want to read the whole book. uh uh I did not have a whole book. I had a bunch of ideas typed up, i had like four chapter done. I decided to finish the book. It took five days and hardly any sleep. my husband went out of town that week end. I kissed him bye and went back to work. I had both kids and household and somehow I pulled it off!

I had to jump back three times and KISS myself that is how proud I am that I did it.
I am now working on the second book. I am hoping this could be a series. It would be great to have more mulitcultural books out there. My daughter is an AVID reader and I would love if in the next few years my books get published. She is already reading my stuff and telling me what she thinks and giving ideas.

10 Reasons why Winnie the Pooh needs antidepressants

1. OK his name is doodoo

2. He is an emotional eater

3. He runs out of honey and has to steal it from the bees

4. The bees promptly attack him and christopher robin

5. A great wind comes and blooooows piglet away

6. The wind knocks down owls house

7. Eeyore. Dude cheer up you live in the 100 acre woods

8. Eeyore the jerk goes to find owl a new house only to find piglets house and says it is owl's. No one corrects him and piglet just cries and accepts that his lovely house was now owl's house just cause Eeyore said so. Fuck Eeyore he is not your landlord. Piglet moves in with Winnie the Pooh

9. Pooh goes to visit Rabbit who tries to act like he's not home. But Pooh is the wiser and goes to his house and eats all Rabbits honey. All of it. And then gets stuck in Rabbits front door. Rabbit has to look at Poohs butt for days. And has to clean up the poopoo.

10. A great rain floods the woods washing piglet away. He has to be rescued by Pooh.

And i didn't even get into Rabbits hatred of Tigger and his evil plan to desert bouncy Tigger in some strange woods because Tigger bounced him one too many times.

Don't Bite Your sister

Our youngest daughter is two and a half. She has an amazing mind and sometimes says things that are way beyond her years.
Yesterday she was cuddled up ready for her nap. She wanted me to lay down next to her but I wanted to get my coffee. We had just brushed our teeth a few moments before. She said, "Come on mom get in the bed!"
I said, "Hold on let me get my coffee."
She said, "You just brushed your teeth you can't drink coffee now come on."
Really kid.

She is a cool child. Very smart, funny, energetic, enthusiastic. She loves books and make believe. She is loving and likes to give kisses. Great hugger that kid.

There are times though when it all breaks loose. I will say no to something that was demanded and whoosh she turns into a screaming, crying, stomping, kicking fiery ball of toddler angst. She has cleared a table in one swoosh. Bowls, food, cups, juice all on the floor.
"You will clean up this mess and then sit in time out." Very serious face.

The tantrums range in intensity and time. Sometimes you can get her to calm down by talking to her. Once during a tantrum she instantly stopped and said, "Mommy that painting is in the shape of a diamond."
I said, "Yes dear it is." I tried to mask my amazement at how quickly she switched. Her cries sound so sad, so plaintive.
The legs kick. Often she will emit a high whining sound. And only sometimes tears. It's always loud.


The N word

She does not like to hear the word no. The word no immediately causes the legs to start stomping and the tears to fly out of her eyes to create a puddle that she will ultimately smear all over the living room floor o

Big sister was building a myriad of block towers that she refused to have knocked down. Toddler whose very genetic make up calls for her to knock them things down can't control self and knocks them all down as big sister wails for her not to knock them down.
"Hahaha." Toddler laughs at demolishing her sisters building. Finally big sister builds a massive tower on an unreachable spot on the dining room table. She tells little sister, "Do not knock it down. Little sister screams and as she is being held back she bites her big sister. No biting. No biting. you do not bite your sister. Now say you are sorry. You better say you are sorry.
-Sorry big sister.
-Now you have to sit in time out.
-I have to sit in time out.

With big sister I never had to tell her not to bite anyone. She just didn't do it. Why does this child bite her big sister? Why will she scream as if in the worse pain when she has to do a simple thing.

Pay

I wonder how much parents who stay at home with their children would make if we got paid?
Maybe there would be incentives if your kid was not a jerk-tax break!
You would get a weekly paycheck and you would get so much OT! There would be insurance for stay at home parents.

Poem #1

Frosted Daffodils


Sweet baby seeds
Crocus
And beginning grass
Coming out in all this cold
You don’t even have a coat
Just light petals
Curling opening buds
Taffeta leaves
Urging towards the bright sun
No sun today
Just gray thick clouds
And cold winds that shake the trees
And make whistling music through the house
A fire breasted robin scuttles on a red painted roof
Ying Yang weather
Yesterday we had thunder and sunshine
In the same sky
Warm and humid day
We found shelter in a crowded back porch
Watched the dark, screen blow in the high wind
The girls played a golf, racket ball hybrid
One half of our yard was being drenched and the other
sunny

Article I found

The Wrap News
http://www.thewrap.com
Lionsgate Acquires 'For Colored Girls'
Studio gets worldwide rights to film version of the award-winning play

March 20, 2009, New York City.
By Wrap Staff

Lionsgate announced today that it has acquired worldwide rights to a planned screen version of the award-winning play "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf."


The studio acquired worldwide rights to the 1975 stage play by Ntozake Shange, and the adapted screenplay written by Nzingha Stewart, who will direct the film. No cast has been set.


According to the studio, "the acquisition reflects Lionsgate’s leadership role in producing and distributing a diverse roster of motion pictures about black characters," in particular the Tyler Perry franchise.

Copyright Mirlande Jean-Gilles

Back in the game

It's only 4 in the morn. took a nap earlier this evening while i was trying to put the little one to bed. About to go back to bed.
I am a night owl tried and true. I come from a long line of night owls.
I am a night owl with early bird responsibilities.









Amazing Alvin Ailey Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eKHLBMZU6w&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu9dQcefHSc&feature=related



My Writing Life: I am obsessing over my query letter. Read and reread. I have to just send it out. I have two agents in mind. There are so many what ifs but I gotta do this.

Writing a query is nothing like writing fiction.

In the manuscript Papo has lost it and the main character has to confront this hard kinda mean grandmother about her grandfather.


Spring has Sprung: It's been cloudy and rainy the last few days.

While I was getting the mail met a neighbor who is writing childrens books. Wants to meet and talk the writing life.

Visual Arts: I made a new line of cards. Will post soon.


Kids Korner: Z was rockin' the toilet training now she's kinda regressed a little. She's still only in two diapers a day and when she wakes up from her nap she does not want to keep the diaper on.

Late night in the country ass city. There is a nice fog and it's warm for December. Today I went out alone. It's strange sometimes because usually I'm in a constant state of mommy awareness when I'm out with the kids so to be out alone and only have my one self to be responsible for is strange and yet mildly familiar.

My writing world: It's getting lusher. I have a few notebooks that I carry around. I keep notes on the novel and write little journal type things in them. I have not been journaling as much as I used to. I used to be on it two to three pages of brain drain. Now, half a page to one page of interesting, good things, budgets, to do lists. I'm trying to get to the point that whenever my kids say something smart or funny I have the paper and pen right there ready.

I heard Toni Morrison on NPR today as I did the breakfast dishes. She spoke about a lot of stuff but what stuck with me was the idea of complicated characters. I look at the histories as I reread my current manuscript and do this literary sankofa and go back to my old edits and piece this book together because I've created real histories for my characters and they are not cardboard at all. Which is exciting because your characters then have depth. You empathize with them. You might see aspects of yourself. I've been editing forever but as I find out things like it took J Diaz eleven years to finish his last book I feel like OK I can do this.

I'm working on writing the latest synopsis. I realize some of the things in the summary are not directly talked about but are eluded to in the actual novel.
Get the whole description of the story in one page. I have something down for this new version. It's kinda fun.


On the bus: Today on the bus an ahole talked loudly to his friends about how he steals from certain stores that are not expecting him to steal. He said if they don't have what he wants by the door he is not taking it. "If I have to take an escalator, the steps or an elevator I ain't stealing it cause I'm gonna get caught." I openly stared. He didn't seem at all ashamed or regretful. He was also an older man in his late fifties maybe.

An annoying man sitting in front of a couple "is that man your father?"
"No he's my husband." she said. "No way, That guy is old." said the high drunk man
"No way!" everything the woman said he said "uh uh. nope. you are too young."
i heard her say she had children who were a certain age. I heard her say she was in her thirties. She was really explaining things to this person, eventually they got up and sat in the back of the bus. The same man started yelling "hey man reading the newspaper....hey man wearing glasses....dude with the vest.....hey sir." The man was smart and feigned interest in his paper.

YES WE CAN!!!!

Be still......

I noticed the firetrucks on my way to pick up my daughter. I did not think they had any thing to do with me. I turned the corner and I could smell the burning smell. And then I saw it a smoldering skyline. Dark towers melted from the scorching heat. A community playground had been set aflame. The firemen were still hosing it down. She leaned to the side. It is gone. Dark burnt wood against a periwinkle sky. A mom said it happened around 1pm and the arson team was there. wow, someone actually did that on purpose.
The playground had hardly any shade. The kids had fun. There was a tire swing that my daughter and I spun ourselves on till we felt nauseous even hours after. Well worth it though, to see the puffy clouds and blue umbrella sky spinning. It's like you have anti-gravity or you can fly. Lots of regular swings. Great little cubbies to hide, and steps to climb, tunnel slides and regular slides that burned your ass when the afternoon sun would bake the playground toys.
I cried. I didn't want my daughter to see that when she got off he school bus. The playground was behind her.
The bus came and my daughter was distracted by other things. As we left the area I told them we couldn't go to the playground. In the car ride home we told them the place had been burnt down. My daughter and her friend looked at each other with shock. Dramatic shock at that. Then they went back to whatever they were doing.
Just like that. I was all devastated wondering how dealing with this loss of a play ground would contribute to their sense of blah blah blah.
So the emails are going out and the community that built the playground are going to raise funds and rebuild the playground. The place was built by the people of the city. Who volunteered their time and energy. People donated money.
It will be rebuilt that is the lesson. It sucks that it has to be but it can be because the people are already rallying for it to happen. I will donate time and womanpower when it's needed.
That was on Tuesday.

Story Time-Today I went to storytime. Oh on Monday we went to this musical storytime where the performer has a guitar and she played all the kid classics. She was really lively. It was at a bookstore that was packed. I met a caretaker from Ghana. She said I'm from Ghana, there are no elephants on the streets."
"I come from city just like New York." Children have a misconception of Africa because of the African Jungle Alphabets simplifies Africa. Africa is a huge continent with so many cultures and languages and beliefs and traditions. The nanny found an old friend and they hugged happily. The friends said, "I was thinking about you."

I'm gonna give the story hour by my house another chance. It was so not diverse. There were diverse caretakers, Nannies, one daddy, au pair, grandma's. The lady at the regular story hour forgets the lyrics to the nursery rhymes. Sometimes she doesn't let all the children knock down Humpty Dumpty or throw the pig in the air or hit the tambourine to the syllables of their name.
Overheard, Quote of the day. "Be still and know that I am God." This quote resonates with me because in meditation is where you can have this relationship with god. Through breath and stillness.

I have a two year old now!

In writing: I finally found my memory stick. Trying not to panic I found other missing items that I would not have found if I had not been cleaning up/looking for the memory stick.

I'm back to editing. I'm punking out of writing the new stuff that NEEDS to be written so that I have a finished manuscript but I haven't gotten there. I really like the story I'm working on. But why am I not writing the new stuff? Maybe I need to do some concise chapter summaries or something to get this moving. It's been slow. I'm gonna get back to collaging soon.

Night Owling

I come from a long line of night owls. I am a night owl with early bird responsibilities.

When the house is oh so quiet I sometimes just sit and inhale the silence.
There is nothing else left to do. Everyone is asleep. No one to look after except myself for the moment.
The writing pours out of me. I am glad I can type fast without getting caught up in looking at the keyboard.

Outside my office window, which is usually loud with nature's music, is silent as robins, sparrows, cardinals and wood peckers sleep.


Raccoons bring the party during the night. They screech and fuss at each other. They walk on our roof with raccoon boots. They swing and slide on the neighbor's swing set.

This is the time I write and work on my novel. I catch up on email. I search for that agent. Maybe I'll work on a collage or a new greeting card design. I might catch up on 30 rock or Lost. I can get a bunch of windows open at once on the Mackie Mac. Working on this a little and then work on the next thing.




Haiti
I have to send some blessings and prayers to Haiti. My people who have suffered so many losses when two, three hurricanes hit the island back to back. I ask the universe to please protect my people.







When i was little I lived on the island. There are things I remember very clearly. In the 70's we used an outhouse. The gray brown out house with the terrible poopoo smell and dark foreboding hole where I threw stones and wads of balled up toilet paper.

I remember my mother coming home in a white uniform. I lived in a turquoise house with coral pink walls inside.
I had many cousins and I was free to roam as far as I could. I never got lost. I never went too far. I had two grandmothers and so many aunts ready to feed me, or spank me depending on their moods. I played with dried mango seed which was my doll and played jacks with dried pig knuckles. I never went hungry. I never felt poor.
Bless Haiti who held me in her arms for those two years I lived there where I unlearned American English and renamed my Grandmother "Big". The whole family started calling her that.

An island already devastated now must deal with this. I hope the new administration really gives Haiti some positive attention in the form of money, agricultural assistant, food aid, job production for road building and food growing. Haiti was the first free black nation in the Western Hemisphere. The people fought back against the people that held them as slaves and defeated them! Is this why the island is left to perish. Is there a long held grudge against this tiny island because of Haiti's revolution. Meanwhile children eat dirt cakes to stop the hunger pains.

Tomorrow we are supposed to get a scaled down version of a hurricane.

Peace

1st days

School has started. My big girl actually has a real school building with a playground and everything. Last year classes were held in a cut up gym. First graders in one "room" and second graders in another "room" and kindergartners in the cafeteria which was broken up too. Despite that this experiential learning was fabulous. The school teaches hands on learning. Do it to learn it. They did really well with what little they had and my daughter loved it and flourished. The whole summer was spent renovating the new space. Every grade has a classroom and there's a real gym and an art room. They even have a music room. The paperwork has already started coming home. Weekly bulletins, things to fill out.

I am on a paper purging mission. Papers have got to go. So I'm pulling out the file folders and the labels, the paper shredder.
It's quiet with the little tree in school. I've been on an editing zeal. Cutting the beginning of the novel up like crazy. It's painful and yet liberating at the same time. If it's not essential I cut it and I have to be ninja ruthless with it too.
When ever I sit at the computer or I write something for the novel in my journal I feel like I am flying. My fingers just zoom across the keyboard and I swear i glow.

I saw the couple who I had seen arguing. I remembered her because of her red curly weave and he had braids. They were walking together his arms around her and her arms around him looking very cozy!?

I wanna send a shout out to the Brooklyn massive. Millions of people will converge on Eastern Parkway monday for the loudest funnest brightest raunchiest parade. It's hot and sweaty and Caribbean African to it's core. Love it.